Being Open

So I deleted my post saying that I was going to make my blog private. I have been wrestling the thought over and over in my head and decided to just let my blog be and allow for others who have come across my blog be able to read it.

Reading about other's lives and being able to in a sense be a part of their lives is a neat experience. I love reading other peoples blogs for just this reason. So I don't want to have some people who may be reading this to not be allowed to be a part of my life.

For those of you who do know me, know that it is hard for me to open up. I'm afraid of what others will think of me, of being vulnerable and afraid of being hurt or of others being hurt for things that I say.

I have decided that having a blog will help me to open up a bit more. It will be hard so please hang in there with me while I take baby steps with being more open.

sorry...

So, for those of you who read my blog I'm sorry for not writing in a while. I just don't know what to write about or how what direction I'm wanting to go with my blog. I'm not sure if I want to make it private again and post more about my life instead of just making it all really vague, if I just want to quit the blogging world, or if I should just need some guidance from others on what I should name my blog and what I should possibly write about.

In a lot of ways the blogging world scares me a lot because it makes what you write on here public domain and for me even making it private scares me because there are still ways for those that are really desperate to see the blog.

I love reading the blogs that I follow and how each one is more personal than mine is. I love reading about other's lives and getting to have like an inside look as to what they think about or what is going on in their lives.

So if you are reading this and maybe have a suggestions for me with a new title for my blog or maybe what you think you would like to read about I would love some ideas!!

Happy 4th!!!

Happy 4th of July!!!!

Hey everyone!! Hope that everyone who reads this is having a wonderful and safe 4th.

I have had a very busy weekend hanging out with friends and family. The rain today thank goodness is not raining in on today....but I hope that it stops in time so that I will be able to watch the fireworks.

For the girls

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot
Who calls you back even though you just hung up on him
Who thinks you are perfect even though he knows the the worst thing about you
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead
Who wants to show you off to the world even when you are in a t-shirt and sweats
Who holds your hand in front of his friends
Who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup
One who is constantly reminding you of how beautiful you are and that he loves you
Of how lucky he is to have you
The one who turns to his friends and says
"That's her"

Lemonade!!

So I finally have my lemonade!!

Took a while to get it though. My life this past week has been one of my favorite weeks. Just being able to hang out with family and friends has been the greatest. I don't know what I would do without any of them in my life. All of the "lemons" and "ingredients" finally came together for me to make my "lemondae"!! :)

There is a giveaway going on over at Courtney's blog to celebrate the blog's one year anniversary!

Ingredients

So if any of you read my last post you saw that I have been getting a lot of "lemons" in my life and that I was looking for the "ingredients" to make "lemonade".

Well, I have found some of my "ingredients"!! It was hard finding but some of the "ingredients" have made it into my life. It takes a while for me to see them though.

I have my wonderful daughter who I wouldn't give up for anything. She is my world and sticks by me no matter what.

I have to thank all of my friends who have been praying for me through these "lemon" parts of my life. Thank you all for sticking by me!

I have started going back to church. It has taken a while but I can tell that I am a happier person with going to church. I enjoy getting my faith back and being immersed with worship. Along with church, I am going to a college youth group and have made some new friends. I am happy that I have made some new friends and grateful that they like me for me.

So there are my "ingredients", or at least some of them. I think that I may need some more ingredients before I can have my "lemonade" but I know that the rest will just keep coming my way. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel where I will finally be able to have my "lemonade"!!!

When life gives you lemons...

You would normally make lemonade right?? I am still trying to find the "ingredients" to make that lemonade. Right now I am still searching for all of the correct "ingredients".

I feel like life is giving me a lot of lemons lately. Of course if I looked really hard I would probably have my lemonade already but sometimes it is hard to remember those good times.

I have been blessed to meet such wonderful people this past week and who are Christians. I am enjoying meeting new people and am happy that I have started to come out of my shy-shell a bit. It is getting easier but it's still a work in progress.

So I need to keep saying to myself: Don't be such a pessimist and start to be optimistic. Life would be much better if I were to see it as having lemonade instead of just getting lemons.